You’re missing something.
And somewhere underneath everything, you already know it.
You’re tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix. You’re lonely in a crowd. You’re overwhelmed by a life that, on paper, you built on purpose. Anxious, and not always sure why. You keep waiting for the next thing to finally quiet it all down, and it never quite does.
We treat all of those things like separate problems. A stress problem. A sleep problem. A scheduling problem. A relationship problem. A financial problem. A work problem. So we manage each one, and still the hum underneath doesn’t go away. We are on a treadmill that we can never slow down.
As a result, we are overwhelmed, on edge, spent, and running on fumes.
But what if it isn’t a dozen separate problems?
What if it all boils down to one: a single connection you’ve been missing?
The most important connection there is:
your connection with God.
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We prioritize everything except the one thing that matters most
Look honestly at where your time actually goes.
The kids’ schedules. The work calendar. The weekly errands and the chores that never end. The group texts, the appointments, the endless list. We even pour ourselves into our other relationships, and then wonder why we’re running on empty.
Every one of those things gets a slot. Every one gets protected.
And the most important relationship of your life, the one with God, gets whatever’s left. Which is usually nothing. It’s the appointment we keep meaning to make and never do. The connection we swear we’ll get to “once things slow down.”
They never slow down.
So the single most important connection available to us quietly becomes the one we invest in least. We’d never say it out loud, but our calendars say it for us.
Here’s why it touches everything else
This isn’t just a spiritual issue you can file away and deal with later or a Sunday morning church attendance problem. It leaks into everything.
Because here’s the truth I’ve watched play out over and over:
If your relationship with God isn’t what it’s supposed to be, your relationship with everyone else won’t be either.
I have acknowledged it in my own life. When disconnected with God, that disconnect doesn’t stay contained. It shows up in how short I am with my boys. The tension it causes with my co-workers. In the friendships that stay shallow, the patience that runs thin, the anxiety I can carry. We all know it and feel it.
Jesus put it in a picture that’s hard to shake:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
Cut a branch off the vine and it withers, not because it’s bad, but because it’s disconnected from its source. We keep trying to fix the outer branches while the inner connection sits neglected. It’s like re-arranging leaves on a tree whose roots we’ve stopped watering.
Get the most important connection right, and the others start to heal. Ignore it, and no schedule, no achievement, no relationship, no success will fill the gap for long.
It always ends up at the same place…lonely, brunt out, and checked out.
Know someone carrying that hum underneath everything? Send this their way.
Let me suggest a few things to start
Here’s the good news: reconnecting was never meant to be complicated, and you don’t have to have it all figured out to begin. Jesus isn’t asking us to become the apostle Paul or Billy Graham overnight.
It’s a relationship. And like any relationship, it grows through a few simple, repeated things. Five of them. Don’t try to master all five. Just start with one this week.
PRAY:
Start the Conversation.
Prayer is just honest conversation with God. Not formal, not fancy, not the right words in the right order. It’s telling Him what’s actually true: your fears, your frustrations, the thing you’d never say out loud.
It’s the lifeline of the whole connection. It’s also where the anxiety you carry finally has somewhere to go instead of circling in your head at 2 a.m.
How to start: Take five minutes. No script. Thank God for one thing, name one fear, ask for one thing. Do it on the commute, on a walk, before bed. Talk to Him like He’s actually there, because He is.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
READ:
Let Him Speak Back.
If prayer is you talking to God, reading the Bible is God talking to you. It’s less a rulebook to feel guilty about and more a voice that shapes how you see everything.
You’ve probably only ever heard it quoted, often by someone using it as a weapon. Read for yourself; it does something else entirely: it steadies you, corrects you, and reminds you that you’re not alone in what you’re facing.
How to start: Don’t begin on page one. Start with the Gospel of John (who Jesus is) or the Psalms (raw, honest prayers for every emotion). A few verses a day. Ask one question of what you read: What does this show me about God, and about me?
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword… discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)
WORSHIP:
Get Yourself Off the Throne.
Before you picture a song you’d hate, or some cheesy VBS or student camp song, worship is simply aiming your attention at God and admitting you’re not the center of everything. We do it accidentally at concerts and in nature; this is doing it on purpose, toward the One who made it all.
It reconnects your heart to the source of your life and loosens the anxious grip of trying to run the universe from your own shoulders. It’s less about a style of music and more about a posture of gratitude and surrender.
How to start: Put on a few worship songs during your drive. Or take a walk and, instead of scrolling, name three things you’re grateful for and say them to God. Worship is any moment you make Him bigger and yourself smaller.
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (Romans 12:1)
SERVE:
Do Something with Nothing in it For You.
Serving is meeting a real need for someone else, with no audience, no post, no return. It’s love with its sleeves rolled up.
It’s one of the few things that reliably quiets the hum. It pulls you out of your own head, grows your empathy, and models the very heart of who Jesus was. Something happens in genuine service that reconnects us, both to God and to each other.
How to start: Pick one need this week and meet it quietly. Help a neighbor. Show up for a friend. Volunteer somewhere: a church, a shelter, a nonprofit. The test: choose something where no one’s keeping score.
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
GIVE:
Open Your Hands.
Generosity with your money, your time, and your attention. It’s the practice of holding what you have loosely instead of clenching it tight.
Giving loosens the grip of the very thing most of us secretly trust instead of God: control, comfort, our own accumulation. It’s also the clearest sign that your connection is real and not just talk. Open hands can’t stay clenched.
How to start: Give first, not from the leftovers. Pick an amount and give it, to your church or to someone in need, before you talk yourself out of it. And give more than money: give someone your undivided time and attention this week.
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)
Pray. Read. Worship. Serve. Give. None of it is complicated. Like with anything beneficial, it takes discipline. But look at your week, and the truth comes out: almost none of us are doing it.
We’re missing it. And it might be the exact thing we’ve been missing all along.
The Next Step
You will always make time for what you’ve decided matters most. Your calendar is the most honest confession you’ve got.
So here’s the challenge, and you don’t have to have anything figured out to take it:
Stop putting it off. Start with one thing this week.
You’ve tried filling that space with everything else.
What if it was never meant to be filled by anything else?
If this encouraged you, don’t let it end on the screen. Pick one of the five and take the step this week, then come back and tell me how it went.
And if you want words like these in your inbox, honest thoughts on faith, connection, and the life you were built for, subscribe below. It’s free, and I’d love to have you along.
— Dustin
Pastor | Coach | Consultant | #1 Bestselling Author of The Connected Church
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